KEY 6: LOOK AFTER YOUR BODY

When I was at school there were some girls there who were always beautifully groomed. They had perfectly shaped nails and shiny hair. Their hair was cut regularly, and their clothes never looked old or had buttons hanging off. I wanted to be one of those girls, to be fragrant and ladylike, but not enough to work out how to do it all by myself. 

As I got older I started to make it part of my persona that I didn't care about those things. That it was what was inside that mattered. After a while I thought of myself as plain and dumpy anyway, so what was there to tend? I picked up some strategies when I had babies and realised what they needed was also what I needed - routine, exercise, and regular healthy meals and sleep. I even asked one of those girls from school to tell me her self-care regime, but she didn't respond and I didn't push it, feeling ashamed that it was so obvious to her but a mystery to me. 

Now I'm 50 and I have had the need for self-care pushed into my face by collapsing due to lack of it. So I'm using this key to look up what other people do to groom themselves.

Initially this seems superficial and vain. But pushing through is necessary because I am not even doing the basics here, ok?


The Elegant Woman says:
'presenting yourself to the world with a clean, neat and pleasant look is an act of kindness.'

Skin: Establish a skin care routine that works for you (more below)
Exercise regularly, sleep well, drink lots of water

Facial & body hair: around the lips and between the brows must be removed at all times
Eyebrows should be shaped every 6 weeks and tidied every week
Remove hair from legs underarms and bikini lines at all times

Make up: aim for a fresh healthy appearance

Hair: should be clean neat tidy and elegantly styled
Get roots touched up regularly
Wash your hair every other day
Aim for low maintenance hairdos if you have a busy life
Get a regular haircut that keeps clean hair clear of your face

Exercise and posture: Feed yourself good nutritious food
Exercise regularly. If you start to slouch you need more exercise.
Rest well

Nails: should always be clean and shaped
Buffed or polished, consider french manicure video of how to do it
Don't forget your toenails

Dress elegantly:
Discern quality. Quality not quantity. Take your time.
Know you are worth spending on. Restrict yourself to only one dress/ pair of shoes rather than loads of options. Aim for only a single perfect ensemble for each occasion.
Don't buy things only because they are practical.
But only buy clothes that you will wear frequently.
Quality accessories make a lot of difference

I know that when I have put some thought into what I am wearing, and being clean etc, I have felt better about myself, more confident, and also prettier. This does rub off on the day and it's more likely to be a good one.

Treat your clothes well: 
Dry clean, steam or handwash when needed.
Iron and hang them up
Mend them before putting them away
Polish shoes regularly

Basic skin care routine
I have normal/ combination skin that tends to get tight after washing.

1. Use a gentle cleanser or soap and rinse with warm water, then pat dry. If your skin gets tight or oily, use a different cleanser. If dry, avoid alcohol or fragrance.

2. Exfoliate once a week

3. Moisturise while skin is damp, with UV filter

4. Wash in morning, and cleanse make up in evening.

5. Don't go to bed with make up on

6. Replace make up regularly, especially eye make up eg mascara every 4 months.

7. Eat and sleep well


The elegant woman - on being gentle

In my trawl through the website I also found this gem. Which certainly speaks to me and to what I have been trying to do with my life. 

'How to be Gentle?

How to be gentle? Where do I start?

Slow Down, Declutter, Obtain Peace

In my book, Secrets of Elegance, I talked a little bit about achieving authenticity (being who you are), the importance of having a devotional to read, editing yourself and wardrobe and obtaining peace.

One of the concepts of that book is how peace is important to elegance, and how we should remove anything that does not give us peace (i.e. anything that causes stress). Similarly, it is a lot easier to be gentle if you are peaceful within. Editing is very much a process of achieving elegance and we must get rid of "Too Much". Too much stuff, too much on our schedules, too much commitment, expectations and demands.

Slow down. Meditate. Engage in peaceful, slow-moving activities that require patience. Such as reading novels, painting, yoga, ballet, Tai Chi, sewing, knitting etc....

Be gentle with people...

Value what you have - eg pick up things as if they were delicate and valuable...

Be gentle with yourself...A lovely blog post about this

Have an abundant mindset...

Eat well'

I am drawn to these things, but life seems to have speeded me up so much that I don't do them any more. So now is the time to do these things. All at once, in a formal timetable I impose on myself ungently? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha